narcissist child custody new jersey

For almost anyone, co-parenting following a divorce proves to be a difficult process.  It is often a challenging adjustment to move from a shared family life to custody exchange, even if the end of a marriage is relatively low conflict. Nonetheless, these challenges compound when one of the parents involved is a narcissist, who seeks to place him- or herself in the center of all situations and maintain control over all parent-child relationships. If you need to know how to share child custody with a narcissist in New Jersey, please read on, then contact one of our experienced Monmouth County child custody attorneys. Some questions you may have include:

How do you co-parent and share custody effectively?

A co-parenting framework requires both parents to work together to provide their children with mutually supportive care. To accomplish this end, the co-parents must respect each other as separate individuals with their own lives, even while maintaining a flexible approach to:

  • Scheduling
  • Appointments
  • School and daycare issues
  • Medical needs
  • Other aspects of parenting

How do you share child custody with a narcissist in New Jersey?

After a difficult divorce from a narcissist, parents may need to prepare for a strictly governed process of parallel parenting negotiated by divorce lawyers as opposed to hoping for an ideal relationship. Remember, the same traits that led to problems in the marriage and the eventual divorce will not disappear during the shared custody process. To negotiate a parallel parenting agreement, the parties will need to set boundaries.

How do you set boundaries while sharing child custody with a narcissist in New Jersey?

While you must come together to advance the best interests of your children, effective co-parenting does not require the co-parents to:

  • Give each other full access to their personal lives and personal time
  • Take vacations or spend holidays together
  • Discuss each other’s dating life
  • Draw the child into the conflict, or
  • Alienate the child from the other parent

How do you negotiate a parallel parenting agreement with a narcissist?

Naturally, any sort of change or loss in the level of control can potentially enrage a narcissist. As you negotiate a parallel parenting agreement, you must establish a custody and parent time settlement that includes explicit and clear boundaries with potential penalties for violating them. One of our skilled Monmouth County family law attorneys can work to achieve a fair settlement with solid protection for you and your children.


If you require strong legal representation for matters of divorce and family law in Rumson, Monmouth County, or anywhere in New Jersey, contact The Law Offices of Paone, Zaleski & Murphy to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced attorneys today.