How Can I De-Escalate Conflict in a New Jersey Divorce?

There are many cases where a marriage does not end well and spouses are not on good terms. While spouses may expect it to be impossible to get through the proceedings without hostility, there are ways to de-escalate conflict during this time. It is important in any divorce to figure out ways to do this, especially if there are children in the picture. Continue reading below to learn more about how this can be done and contact an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney for help with your case.

How Can I Go Through a Non-Hostile Divorce?

It is not impossible to go through a divorce with as little conflict as possible. However, it takes certain skills and effort to know how to work through disagreements with your soon-to-be former spouse. The following are a variety of different tools that spouses can use to keep hostility to a minimum in a divorce:

  • Practice radical acceptance. Refusing to accept the reality of the situation can cause you to act angrily throughout the proceedings. By accepting it, you are able to focus on making the best choices for yourself and your case. 
  • Be a flexible thinker. Do not look at your divorce proceedings as having only one solution. Consider different options and be open to compromise because being closed off can invite conflict into the proceedings.
  • Manage your emotions. There are many heightened emotions during a divorce. Trying to communicate with your former spouse when you are angry can cause additional problems. Be sure to develop healthy coping skills in order to manage these feelings when they arise so you can make choices with a clear mind. 
  • Communicate effectively. Implementing effective communication strategies is one of the most important things you can do in a divorce. When speaking with your former spouse, leave your feelings and opinions out of it while speaking concisely and in a neutral tone. 
  • Stop caring about what your former spouse thinks. Feeling misunderstood or disrespected by your ex can stir up unpleasant feelings. This can lead you to argue or return their contempt. It is best to remove yourself from this thought process so that you are not blinded by anger and impact your proceedings. 
  • Focus on your behavior only. Be sure to focus on yourself and the things that you need during your divorce. If your mind is constantly on the actions of your former spouse, it can cloud your judgment. Staying in control of your own emotions and actions can allow you to minimize conflict. 

Contact our Firm

If you require strong legal representation for matters of divorce and family law in New Jersey, contact The Law Offices of Paone, Zaleski & Murphy to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced attorneys today.